RSS (Rashtriya Sweepers Sena) has welcomed the Ban on toilet paper, calling it a conspiracy by the westerners against Indians. RSS chief Bejan Jhaaduwala speaking exclusively to Kal Tak said, “Gore(foreigners) want to introduce this invention of western culture by degrading indian culture by undermining the under-developed minds, un-realistically in the underground areas undisputably.” (Bloody Hell! what exactly this means – even their spokesperson forgot the Jumlas after he uttered then).
Amidst all these, our very own and beloved Khap Panchayat of Dagru Samaj that earlier said Chow-mein is the major reason of rape in India, created another analogy saying, “Due to the use of Toilet Papers, rapes are increasing in India…And if we want to stop cross-cultural rapes and marriages, we must appreciate the Ban on Toilet Paper.”
When Kal Tak approached a ruling government spokesperson, he revealed on condition of anonymity, “We have found very high content of abrasive agents in toilet papers and will be banning them. So this Ban will create a win-win situation by promoting culture and saving everyone’s Ass.”
Opposition has demanded a CBI level probe into this Ban and has said that the issue will be taken up in Parliament, since they can’t tolerate the ruling party trying to save their asses alone.
Apart from political Arenas, Bollywood celebs are very happy, so happy that they haven’t yet endorsed any toilet paper brand. One Ad of Kamaal R Khan a.k.a KRK was in post production, but is now believed to be off the shelf.
In the meantime one of the foreigners who was on a vacation to India had extremely spicy food for dinner previous night and as a result his toilet paper caught fire the next morning. When this report was read by a very prominent filmmaker, Ram Gopal Varma a.k.a RGV, was reminded of his “AAG”..
PS: This blog is a satirical approach to the entire “Maggi” saga and whatever fictitious & non-fictitious characters mentioned above bear no offence to anybody living, dead or in a state of coma and is expected to be taken in good humor.