Funny Heart

It’s end of the Valentine’s day,
And it’s really quite silly,
My feelings are switching around
Like a candy jelly.

I’m happy, SO happy
Then I’m feeling SO sad,
I’m gloomy, I’m joyful
Oh my goodness, this is bad!

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My body is clammy,
Then I’m in a deep sweat,
Sometimes I’m giddy,
Sometimes I fret.

I’m looking for comfort food
Deep in the fridge,
Often I think
I could jump off a bridge.

What is the reason
For all the above?
It’s Valentine’s Day,
And I’m SO in love!

WHAT IF EVEN IT WAS WITH MYSELF!!

 

 

 

 

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Christmassy view for Ladies!!! (Guys! Kindly Excuse!!)

If I were old Santa, you know what I’d do
I would dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I’d give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I’d remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn’t spend hours rubbing grease on your skin
You’d never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
And you wouldn’t hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes
No searching for spectacles when they’re right on your nose.
Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
From a doctor who thinks you’re a nervous old granny.

You’d never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won’t ache.
Yes, if I were Santa, you’d never look stupid
You’d be a cute little chic with the romance of a cupid.

I’d give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.
But alas! I’m not Santa. I’m simply just me
The matronest of matrons you ever did see..

Even though we’ve grown older this wish is sincere
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

Rich v/s Poor

It is written clearly, within the books of fate,

The little shall always be oppressed by the great,

Who deserves most to be the slave compared to the least,

And only fools turn rascals in the worse state.

Yes it is in vain, the world is unaware,

True riches shows counterfeited from their attitude,

For what would happen if wine were dear,

Then men would sell the world, to buy a rose.

Lord has been kind! he blindfolds the rich man’s eyes,

That he buys weary and worthless things,

Gaining a huge store of all uncommon things,

And leaves LOVE for the poor and the wise……

Sleep, Darkness & Insomnia

Sleep torn eyes wait for the darkness
Searching for signs of dreams arriving
Waiting, wondering when they don’t
Tired, hungry eyes looking for sleep

To jump gates that never open
Moonbeams peak between slats
Wakening, the woken
Thoughts creep towards the dawn
Side stepping any opportunity
Of resting, in the calm and pleasant of dark.

Tonight,
I wished I walked amongst the stars
When sleep stays at bay
I would glide across the wide expanse
Of heavenly jewel studded ocean
Converse with the Great Bear
Query with Aquarius folks about moon pathways
Until then I shall lie in wait
For first chinks of the day…

As they shine, bright, right into my life; As I plan to slip into my boulevard of dreams!!!

Diamonds and Pearls in Life

They brought me diamonds and pearls
I said I don’t want them
I don’t want anything but
In these eyes of mine

Ah! The eagerness of those eyes
Sparked the fire and lit it
I looked around to speak
I looked around to complain
But I gain nothing

Burning the midnight oil in my eyes
Those eyes sleep at night
Confused my soul has left me from seeing too much torment
As I ask the destiny to take my hand & fly away with me

Wandering in those black eyes
I forgot my words
And I’ve promised a rugged heart forever
Leaning in the night
Complaining to myself about what’s wrong with me

How can I tell anyone I’ve failed again?
Those eyes bid me farewell for good and walk away
There is something precious in those hands
Swear by God! It’s precious
Everything in me

My soul, my soul, my soul is right there
I can’t forget this LIFE of un-erased past, mysterious future but a determined Present…

Yoga and Political Yog Circus

According to Jyotisha (Hindu Astrology), Yoga emphasized on one planet, sign or house which is related to another of the same kind or different kind with the way of its placement, aspect or conjunction. It is the active consideration of planetary yogas and the active consideration of the planetary Dashas i.e. directional effects, which are the two most important factors that distinguish Hindu astrology from Western astrology.

In Indian astrology there are many types of Yoga. Yog and Yoga are different. Yoga certainly are specific planetary combinations in a chart. It is observed that these yogas affect the life of an individual by giving some sort of results, positive or negative. Yogas possess the exclusive characteristics of our Indian Astrology.

Though there are thousands of yogas in Indian Astrology, but we commonly use about 484 types of yoga. Some of these are important and are studied commonly by Astrologers for horoscope analyzing purposes. Now come to Indian political Yog. Following are some of the famous Yog in Indian political scenarios.

1. Raj Yog (Caesar Yog)

Shri Narendra Modi – Prime Minister of India (Designated on a World Tour more than a Rockstar).

2. Hath Yog (Obstinacy Yog)

Shri Lal Krishna Advani – Dreaming Prime Minister of India (Forever).

3.Noutanki Yog(Drama Yog)

Shri Arvind Kejriwal – Day dreaming Prime Minister of India and currently (Acting) Chief Minister of Delhi.

4. PraYog (Experiment Yog )

Shri Third Front – Experimenting to be Prime Ministers of India (without a proper single leader).

5. Baal Yog (Child Yog)

Shri Rahul Gandhi – Impossible Prime Minister of India. (and inactive Child Rights Activist)

6. Moun Yog (Silent Yog)

Shri Manmohan Singh – Ex. and Silent Prime Minister of India. (Ek Tha Asardar)

PS: All above mentioned names and characters are to be taken in good humor and bear no resemblance to people living, dead or purely in a state of coma.

Maggi Flushing Down The Gutter!!!

    After the Ban on Maggi, it is being suspected that Government is planning to ban Toilet Paper too in India. Digging deep, very deep into the research and the story, a very prominent correspondent from Kal Tak contacted those a few who are supporting the Ban.

RSS (Rashtriya Sweepers Sena) has welcomed the Ban on toilet paper, calling it a conspiracy by the westerners against Indians. RSS chief Bejan Jhaaduwala speaking exclusively to Kal Tak said, “Gore(foreigners) want to introduce this invention of western culture by degrading indian culture by undermining the under-developed minds, un-realistically in the underground areas undisputably.” (Bloody Hell! what exactly this means – even their spokesperson forgot the Jumlas after he uttered then).

Amidst all these, our very own and beloved Khap Panchayat of Dagru Samaj that earlier said Chow-mein is the major reason of rape in India, created another analogy saying, “Due to the use of Toilet Papers, rapes are increasing in India…And if we want to stop cross-cultural rapes and marriages, we must appreciate the Ban on Toilet Paper.”

Now you're in deep trouble!

When Kal Tak approached a ruling government spokesperson, he revealed on condition of anonymity, “We have found very high content of abrasive agents in toilet papers and will be banning them. So this Ban will create a win-win situation by promoting culture and saving everyone’s Ass.”

Opposition has demanded a CBI level probe into this Ban and has said that the issue will be taken up in Parliament, since they can’t tolerate the ruling party trying to save their asses alone.

Apart from political Arenas, Bollywood celebs are very happy, so happy that they haven’t yet endorsed any toilet paper brand. One Ad of Kamaal R Khan a.k.a KRK was in post production, but is now believed to be off the shelf.

In the meantime one of the foreigners who was on a vacation to India had extremely spicy food for dinner previous night and as a result his toilet paper caught fire the next morning. When this report was read by a very prominent filmmaker, Ram Gopal Varma a.k.a RGV, was reminded of his “AAG”..

PS: This blog is a satirical approach to the entire “Maggi” saga and whatever fictitious & non-fictitious characters mentioned above bear no offence to anybody living, dead or in a state of coma and is expected to be taken in good humor.